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  • Nick

Our Expectations: Exceeded


This has been a huge week for my husband, Jeff, and me. After two months of hard work, our labor of love: our adoption profile website, was finally ready to be shared with the world. We were announcing to the world "we're a gay couple adopting!"


I’ve worked in digital marketing for nearly 20 years, so it was an absolute joy to use my whole skill set to build the site that will find the baby we’re destined to call our own. With nervous excitement we shared our story on Facebook Monday night.


As gay men who grew up in the 80’s and 90’s we’ve seen and felt firsthand the bitter sting of homophobia and hate for many years. We’ve been refused service. We’ve been the target of slurs. We’ve been bullied. Things have improved dramatically in the decades that have followed, but growing up in a society like that will cause anyone to become wary and build up certain defenses.


Putting our life story online for anyone to see required some real faith, bravery, and vulnerability. Our site is a huge source of pride for us, but there was still a part of me that was bracing for impact. I don’t know what I expected… our country just feels so divided and angry right now. I suppose I was scared that we’d suddenly become the target of hate mail, or death threats, or that the Westboro Baptist Church would show up picketing on our front lawn.


Couple Waiting to Adopt

Instead, Jeff and I are thrilled to report that we’ve received an overwhelming outpouring of love and support. It’s still taking our breath away. Friends, family, colleagues, and complete strangers have been coming out of the woodwork to congratulate us, to celebrate our journey, and to share our story. Over the span of just a few days the website has been shared 100’s of times – often accompanied by a heartfelt story or endorsement of us.


"Life seldom lives up to our anxieties."

This has helped us break down some very old walls – it’s been wonderful to feel so loved and accepted. This has filled us with hope and optimism for the future of our family, and for the future of our world. We cannot wait to tell our adopted child not only how much WE longed for them, but also how much the internet longed for them too!


We all know that adoption can be an unpredictable journey – I think I had just assumed it would be unpredictable in a painful way. Instead it’s been unpredictably joyful, validating, and full of love.


We had the fear that the adoption process wouldn’t live up to our expectations – but so far our expectations have been exceeded at every turn – so we’re going to let that fear go, and move forward with open hearts, open minds, and open arms. (A life lesson that will absolutely be shared with our child.)


So now we wait - but with more confidence than ever before.


We don’t know where, when or how, but we do know that our baby is on their way to us. They’re being guided and protected by more love and support that we could have ever imagined.

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